The importance of 'Me Time'

*Hoists self up onto soap box*

Spend some time with yourself. Explore places you want to see. Go to exhibitions. Go to gigs. Eat at places you want to eat at. I promise you no one cares. People can be exhausting and it’s okay to take some time out to do things you enjoy without compromise.

Many people seek the company of others as a mandate to do things. Be it going to see a new release film at the cinema (remember those?), visiting a museum or even going abroad, why do we need to make group plans to do these things? Don’t even get me started on going out to eat by yourself (HEAVEN FORBID!). I used to be one of those people who judged those who ate alone in restaurants, but now? I urge everyone to take at least one day a week to take themselves out. Be it for a whole day or during your hour lunch break. Every little truly helps.

Now, before you think I’m a total anti-social hermit, know that I do appreciate the company of others. I like talking, gossiping, debating, bitching, watching, drinking and, most of all, eating with others. Humans are ultimately social creatures. However, I deem ‘me time’ as a key aspect of self-care, one that people aren’t engaging in enough.

I’ve had a busy summer. I’m not bragging or exaggerating when I say I’ve barely been home. Be it working full-time on my internship programme, going to the gym after work, having driving lessons or attending campaign meetings, I’m always doing something. In my ‘free time’, I’m in my family home (never empty) or out with friends. I’m blessed in many ways (#rentfree). However, over the past three years of attending university in leafy Devon, I got used to taking long walks by myself. Now back in London, I realise that space is scarce, and not just in the physical sense.

Gradually, I began to feel suffocated by constantly being with people. It’s not just about the presence of others, but the notion of constantly making plans around others. Now, I know this is an inevitability of life, but I think it’s an important counterbalance to make plans for yourself, on your terms.

The opportunity for me to finally take my much-needed ‘Me Time’ arose just yesterday. I had been meaning to go to the Natalia Goncharova exhibition at the Tate Modern since it opened in June, but never had the time to go. This marked the first time I had bought a ticket for a paid event for the first time in my life without making a plan with someone to go with me. I saw an exhibition I wanted to attend, I booked a ticket and I went. It represented a commitment that couldn’t be reversed by me simply decided not to leave the house that day.

It wasn’t until after booking the ticket that the fear kicked in. Where will I eat? How will I get there? Shall I meet someone there? Who else would like to see this exhibition that’s free that day? What will people think of me walking around Borough Market and Southbank by myself? The anxiety well and truly JUMPED out.

The answer to those questions were either ‘whatever I want’ or ‘who cares’. How incredibly liberating. Now, before this becomes an advert for Individualism, lemme just say that ‘Me Time’, like everything, should be enjoyed in moderation.

I went to Borough Market, went to my favourite stall and got my favourite snack – Spanakopita. I didn’t have to stand in the crowd of people, being pushed and shuffled around as my indecisive friends try and pick what they want even though I decided days ago. I then went to The Tate and went straight into the exhibition, and spent a whole hour reading through the rooms and taking in the beautiful art around me. I didn’t have to watch my friends to make sure they weren’t racing ahead or wanting to leave. I even got an hour after to sit on the upper deck and read my book.

It has been months since I’ve had that much autonomy. Being such a control freak, the fact that I only had myself to think about in that moment was almost…cleansing? I know it sounds INCREDIBLE pretentious and selfish but I realise that I need to feel like that every now and again. Otherwise, I’m at risk living my life constantly thinking about what other people were doing and want other people want. Note: I am about to head to my annual trip to Cyprus, which consists of me being ferried between various family members with no say over the agenda.

The exhibition was a very fitting choice because Natalia, a woman born in pre-Soviet Russia was a trailblazer in leading one’s own path. She was so EXTRA and innovative in her methods and career choices that she coined the term ‘everythingism’. It was a highlight of my summer for sure. I look forward to learning more about her life and will try and apply her philosophy and attitude to my everyday life.

Going forward, I’m going to make a point of taking some more time for myself, and using these breathers as a means to give more energy and positivity to my commitments with friends too.

*Leaps off soap box*